Tuesday, January 13, 2009

Emotional Purging

Writing is an "emotional purge" for me (as I'm certain it is for many others), and so is cutting all of my hair off!

I discovered this when I had my first child sixteen years ago. My hair was dark brown and wavy and incredibly healthy. It was down to my elbows and I absolutely loved it! But having a baby makes you do crazy things. To say goodbye to the old me and hello to the mommy me, I decided to cut off all of my hair (over a foot and a half below my shoulders).

The first three stylists I went to refused to cut it. The fourth had me swear in front of everyone in the shop that I would not cause physical harm to her when she was done. I was ready for a change on the outside because so much had changed on the inside. When I looked in the mirror, who I saw matched who I felt like I had become. The new style was perfect! (Thank you to the very brave young girl who snipped away despite great fear!)

I should explain that I looooove long hair. Did I mention that I have a serious obsession with hair in general? Not just my own... I love all silky, soft, great-smelling, curly or straight, long or short, beautiful hair!

Because of my obsession with hair, every time I have mine cut, I soon start wishing I had left it long. I'm even aware of this BEFORE I cut it, and yet I feel the need to do it. Over the years my hair has gone through MANY phases of long and short.

I cut it from elbows up to my chin again after my second son was born and a third time when I got divorced and a fourth when I moved from Pennsylvania to Arizona. Are you seeing the pattern here? Every time a major event happened in my life, I would cut my hair.

And so it is once again. I have experienced the great hair purge following an emotional event. Six weeks have passed and I have been wishing that I had left it long for about four of them! You'd think that I'd learn my lesson and stop chopping after the hundreds of "UGH! Why did I cut my hair?!" moments. And yet, something compels me to start again each time... a sort of rebirth externally to match the transformation inside.

Hoorah to the Computer Gods!

I would like to send a special shout out to the computer gods that made this moment possible!


I'm baaaaack!