Monday, October 5, 2009

Temporarily Disabled

The problem with using emotions to fuel your writing is that when you are emotionally exhausted you have no energy left to write. I apologize for my continued absence.

Thursday, July 16, 2009

This one time at Suthern Kids Camp

This one time at Suthern Kids Camp while out fishin' on the beaver dam in the middle of winter, my sister slipped off into the water. I tried to help her as she flailed about in the nearly freezing water, scraping and digging her nails in the slippery mud, but I was having trouble getting up myself. I had fallen down laughing.

Monday, July 13, 2009

Wednesday, February 18, 2009

The Artistic Result of a Family Trauma

My mother and my aunt were very close growing up. I often compare their relationship to the relationship between my sister and me. Even though we fought as kids and teens, we remained best friends. She has been there to support me through thick and thin and has loved and forgiven me even when I hurt her. I have turned to her for advice and could always count on her for an honest opinion. I love her dearly and would not be able to function well without her sometimes. This is how my mother and aunt were. Close. Loving. Best friends.

My aunt developed pancreatic cancer about eight years ago. It was growing and spreading to other parts of her body... quickly. Surgery was the only option to save her life. Doctors and hospital staff worked efficiently to schedule an emergency surgery. All of our family flew in to support her. I went to support my mother.

The problem with her having surgery is that she was a Jehovah's Witness. Because of her beliefs, she refused to take blood products during any medical procedure. Everyone else was worried she would lose so much blood during the surgery that it would cost her her life. I was worried that my mother would fall apart if my aunt didn't survive.

We all sat in the waiting room for hours (me, my mother, my uncles and aunts, and cousins). She was a beautiful person and loved by so many. While we waited, some family members chewed fingernails to the quick, some ate or drank coffee obsessively, some talked and joked around to ease the tension while others held each other and cried. I drew.

My aunt survived that surgery but passed away 15 months later due to a stroke and complications with cancer. This sketch represents an outpouring of love and support for my aunt and for my mother.

Where would any of us be without emotional outlets like this?

Tuesday, January 13, 2009

Emotional Purging

Writing is an "emotional purge" for me (as I'm certain it is for many others), and so is cutting all of my hair off!

I discovered this when I had my first child sixteen years ago. My hair was dark brown and wavy and incredibly healthy. It was down to my elbows and I absolutely loved it! But having a baby makes you do crazy things. To say goodbye to the old me and hello to the mommy me, I decided to cut off all of my hair (over a foot and a half below my shoulders).

The first three stylists I went to refused to cut it. The fourth had me swear in front of everyone in the shop that I would not cause physical harm to her when she was done. I was ready for a change on the outside because so much had changed on the inside. When I looked in the mirror, who I saw matched who I felt like I had become. The new style was perfect! (Thank you to the very brave young girl who snipped away despite great fear!)

I should explain that I looooove long hair. Did I mention that I have a serious obsession with hair in general? Not just my own... I love all silky, soft, great-smelling, curly or straight, long or short, beautiful hair!

Because of my obsession with hair, every time I have mine cut, I soon start wishing I had left it long. I'm even aware of this BEFORE I cut it, and yet I feel the need to do it. Over the years my hair has gone through MANY phases of long and short.

I cut it from elbows up to my chin again after my second son was born and a third time when I got divorced and a fourth when I moved from Pennsylvania to Arizona. Are you seeing the pattern here? Every time a major event happened in my life, I would cut my hair.

And so it is once again. I have experienced the great hair purge following an emotional event. Six weeks have passed and I have been wishing that I had left it long for about four of them! You'd think that I'd learn my lesson and stop chopping after the hundreds of "UGH! Why did I cut my hair?!" moments. And yet, something compels me to start again each time... a sort of rebirth externally to match the transformation inside.

Hoorah to the Computer Gods!

I would like to send a special shout out to the computer gods that made this moment possible!


I'm baaaaack!